Mormon Bloggers: Family Life Too Good to Be True?

I consider myself a bit of a feminist. Not in the sense that women are superior, nor that women should do it all. I'm more of the idea that women are as smart as men, can do the same job- sometimes better and sometimes worse. Women should be allowed to work. BUT, there are consequences and fall-out from those things that I think feminists often don't realize*. That isn't what this post is about, but it's a thought for another post...

My form of feminism is that I think women should be able to make choices and have lots of options (but still be willing to deal with the consequences and sacrifices of each choice). And, if a woman chooses to stay home with family, or work part/full time, that should be a decision she makes with her spouse (I do think if a feminist wants her husband to take up part of the work load, he needs to be to be a participant in the decision about the decision causing the shift of work; he should have a say in who raises his kids!). My personal feeling is that I really miss working as a Physician Assistant and staying home with four little girls is HARD WORK, but so worth it, and there's quite a bit of fun involved.

Anyway, I'm writing all this because of an opinion article Travis found that a twenty-something married but no kids woman wrote about blog-stalking Mormon Mommy's blogs. Yes, we all wonder if we have a blog stalker (and who they are and why they are interested in MY blog?). But, I never really thought about the demographics of any blog-stalker I might have.

The interesting thing is, this author talks about young mothers with picture-perfect lives. I guess she hasn't come across my blog! I do post many of the things she talks about: my kids, crafts, projects, my perfect husband. But, there's also a lot of not-so-perfect things in my blog: poop stories, vomiting and ear infections, multiple trips to the doctors office, sleepless nights (usually related somehow to children), frustrations, trials, hard days and blah days. I do post about crafts, recipes, fun activities for children. I also talk about how frustrating it is to stay at home sometimes, and how I miss working (see above). And, I also talk about things other than my children and home life (Wicked Cold, current events, personal experiences unrelated to motherhood). I imagine these other Mormon Mommy Bloggers do, too. I just wonder why the author thinks that all Mormon Mommy Bloggers are from Utah, have partial college degrees, have four kids before they're 30 (I didn't reach that 4-kid benchmark until a few years after thirty!). Friends of mine who happen to be bloggers, moms, and Mormons have some of the sappy gooey good stuff (uplifting, to use her word) but they also have some of the down in the trenches posts (Liz, for some reason your blog comes to mind...)

My point is this: is she stereotyping? Or is she glossing over what we deal with as stay-at-home moms? Are Mormon moms really that different than other stay-at-home mothers? Or does she sense that we do what we do (educate our children and expand our skills- be that making while making recycled button bows, or gaining a PhD in Biochemistry, or teaching dance classes at the local high school, or cleaning houses) because we think it is the most important thing for our salvation, and the salvation of our children (salvation might be replaced with the words "Eternal Happiness")? I'm all about being happy; even in a desperate state, covered-in-puke, shaking with my own viral chills, and hearing the plaintive cries of my baby as I wonder "I went to 4 years of college and an additional 2.5 years of a second-degree education for this?" it's still worth it when my little 18-month-old flashes me a grin and giggles as I chase her naked body to the bathroom to get into the tub. Or my 3-year-old says, "Mommy? I lub you". Or my five-year-old comes in and hands me a picture she drew on which she wrote her name and my name, Mom. Or my almost-8-year-old comes over to me and lays her head on my arm, and turns as I put my arms around her and says, "I love you, Mom". It's also worth it when the girls are quietly sleeping in their beds and I settle in my big rocker-recliner husband bought me to nurse our first-born, and he hands me a game controller so we can battle it out with Lego "Bad Guys."

It's not storybook perfect life, but it's still a good story. I'm glad to be living it, and I'm grateful for all the good moments, fun crafts and projects, and new things I get to learn. Even if it is putting my "career" as PA on hold for now, it's definitely what I want to be doing.

Oh, but having said that, I know that my choices in my life are not for everybody. Some mothers work (full or part time). Some mothers don't do crafty things. Some mothers don't bake or sew. Some mothers don't blog or take pictures or scrapbook, or journal or workout at a gym or have a college degree, or have a post-secondary degree, or have ever traveled outside of their hometown.... many other things I haven't mentioned. I don't home-school, although I have some "Mormon Mommy" friends who do (I also have some Christian Mommy friends who also home-school). I don't run (although I am determined to attempt a 10K this summer, UGH!). But, I'm open to new ideas, learning new things, and expanding my knowledge. I hope if I ever get tired of learning something new, my family/friends will "pull the plug" because I really won't be living anymore anyway.

Why do I blog? Two reasons: share pictures and anecdotes with family and friends who live too far away to see my children growing up and doing new things (see Semantics on the side for Miranda's hilarious comment made today); vent my feelings about current events and articles (such as this one that I've now rambled on for far too long).

If you blog, Why do you blog?
If you are my blog-stalker, Why do you read my blog?
If you are neither, How did you find this post? (in either sense of the word "find")

*I heard that Britain is trying to extend Paternity leave to six months, possibly paid. Although I'm all for giving a dad a few weeks off to adjust to a new member in the family, if he is the primary bread winner, I DO NOT think our government needs to foot the bill for a six month "vacation". Same goes for a mom, tho'. I took 8 weeks off after my first, and would've loved another month (or 300). But I needed those weeks to allow my body to heal from having carried a parasite for 9 months followed by major abdominal surgery to get the parasite out. Don't get me wrong, I love my parasites and everything I went through was VASTLY worth it in a way that words cannot express! But, dad's don't go through pregnancy, labor or delivery (not physically anyway) and if they are involved in feeding, it's usually with a bottle and frequently is co-feeding, not exclusive- especially if he is the primary bread winner. Before you get too mad, yes, there are exceptions to every rule (I even know a dad who is the primary bread winner who is also the primary care giver to his son who was an infant-toddler).