Potty Training! Who's getting trained?

I just finished reading another humorous post by a friend of mine about potty training (Bryn, have you started your collection of essays for mothers, yet? When will it be published?).

I must admit, when my oldest was finally potty trained, I thought "Ah! Finally, I now feel like I'm a real mom!"

When I had my visiting teachers over last month, and Megan brought me a diaper and said, "I need to go potty," I figured she was definitely ready for learning how to use the toilet. I guess if a child can bring the diaper to you before she wets the one she's wearing, that's a pretty good indication she knows what's going on. So, two days later (I had to go grocery shopping the next day) I adventured to "teach" my child.

Now, this isn't the first attempt. There had been two separate occasions where, after a morning of exasperation and chasing potty and poop messes all over the house, and washing 4 pairs of underpants in as many quarter-hours, I had given up the attempt.

This time, I was ready and well-armed. Except for the treat (but I'll come to that later).

#1 Child is ready to learn how to go potty. How did I know this? Remember her bringing me the diaper before she was wet?

#2 Dolly's example. With Zoë I bought her a baby doll that pees when you give her some water in a bottle. It's immediate, and I didn't think it really made a difference to her. (sidenote: "Dolly," as this peeing baby was named, is Zoë's favorite baby). I thought we should give this a try with Megan to make sure she understood the concept of water going in and where it should come out.

#3 Bare-Bottom. Strip child down so all she was wearing was a T-shirt. Yup, she was literally "butt-naked"!

#4 Constant vigilance! Of course, the moment you step into the shower, or the 2 minutes you take to start cleaning up while the child is eating lunch at the table, there is the obligatory pond-not-puddle accident. So, if you are planning to attempt this, just remember you have NO time away from your child until she's gone on her own at least half-a-dozen times!

#5 Lots of opportunity. Megan got hot chocolate, juice, water and just about any other form of liquid I could push on her. I think her "eyeballs were floating"

#6 "I get a treat!" Yes, I did reward with treats. I tried chocolate chips (who'dda thought that wouldn't be a motivator!) then moved on to jellybeans (left over easter candy- yes!). We quickly ran out of those (ok, I was sneaking a few every time she got a treat), but her dad found the perfect reward: Pez dispensed candy. Yes, they still make them! There was the dangling carrot of getting "Cinderella big-girl pants" but that was not enough at the moment she needed to go potty.

#7 Punishment. Maybe that's the wrong word as consequence is really what I was aiming for. Yes, I know that some people don't believe in this (and my book experts disagree with "punishing"). BUT, there are always consequences to any action, good or bad. I couldn't have her clean up the puddle, but I still had a mess to take care of. I also had to clean HER up, and that isn't much fun for me. So, hello cold baths. (I splashed cold water on her legs and nether regions). She did not like this, so it was effective for her. Threatening to put in a diaper did NOT work for my kids!

#8 TIMING. OK, if you're watching your kid this closely (see #4) you'll soon have an idea how quickly/often she needs to go potty. So, I would ask if she had to go and then I made her sit on the potty. If she didn't go, we tried again in five minutes (or less). A few of Megan's accidents were because I forgot to remind her to go (yes, she needed reminding, especially while she was playing). This is where I felt like I had to train myself all over again!

Well, after two-days of a bare bottom running around the house (just like with the constant vigilance issue, the minute I put underwear on her, she'd have an accident), we graduated to wearing "big-girl-pants" and then jumped to full clothes. For about a week, we've had 1 or 2 accidents a day, but now it's been 3 days without an accident. Hurrah!!! We haven't tried to go without pull-ups at night. I probably won't until she's able to keep them dry.

It's great only having one bottom to diaper now. And, it's definitely saving some money! Besides, she can now say she's a BIG GIRL and mean it in every sense.