Magic Touch

OK, I've written about this before, how mom's kisses can make you feel better. But, now there's more evidence that touch can do a lot more than just be an anesthetic.

A New York Times article that hints at some publications that should be coming out this year, talks about how touch conveys a LOT of information, and that team players who touch more are more successful, and that couples who touch more (contact, not intimacy)state they are more happy in their relationships.

This summer I remember meeting a couple who had moved into our ward. I remember looking at them, and how they held hands even though each was engaged in a conversation with another person. Of course, it came out in the conversation that they'd been married only a few short weeks (less than 2 months).

I remember thinking, "Oh! I miss that!" and then realized that, even though I don't hold Travis' hand all the time (four little girls seem to get in the way of that), I do still touch him- sometimes without even really thinking about it*. Kisses before departures have become mainstay in our relationship, and I value them so much that I actually WORRY when I don't give/get one when one of us leaves the other. They are chaste quick kisses (ok, not all the time, and especially not in public), but they convey (to me at least) a reassurance of, "I love you. I will miss you. I can't wait to see you again. I'll be with you as soon as I can". I want my husband to know that EVERY time he leaves. I like having him around, and always eagerly await his return (not always to foist a baby or a kid who needs a diaper change in his arms, although that frequently happens).

I've tried to make a point of thinking about holding his hand more. At least recognizing it. We don't get much time to just sit and hold hands. Four kids, projects, jobs, church responsibilities, etc. seem to have pulled those away. and, I don't get to always sit next to him in church anymore (we seem to have to corral the girls a little bit at this age- but I look forward to when they're old enough that I can sit next to him again!)

I know that my daughters notice some of these touches (hopefully only the chaste ones!) I know that I saw that in my parents' relationship, and it brought great comfort and a sense of love. I often wonder if their financial circumstances that led to them needing to live in different states cut off those touches and led to a drying up of the relationship (at least on my dad's side).

Yes, touch is an amazingly powerful tool. It is sad when it is misused (but I don't want to focus on that). I am grateful for the good examples I've had in my life, and the reminders of pure affection and love that I continue to see today. There are still times when I feel like a mama-cat and feel like shaking off anybody who is touching me and tearing out of the room. But I love nursing and cuddling my baby, trying to smooth out her mohawk/mullet, where I carry my two-year-old up the stairs to her crib for a nap, giving her little kisses and giggling about nothing in particular. Hugs for my four-year-old when I leave her at preschool. The sad and sombre look on my seven-year-old's face when she comes to me after a particularly difficult afternoon (for both of us, usually) and says, "I just wish we could have some cuddles". It's great to see my girls give each other hugs, and share them with friends. And I love the touches I share with my husband.

Mother's kisses can heal.
Cuddles demonstrate love and provide security and a sense of well-being.
And we all need a little more of those things in our lives.