So SICK SICK SICK of being SICK!

Well, after two nights of 1-hour stretches of sleep, and after checking her ears once or twice a day, I finally caved in and took Veronica to the doctor's today.

Tuesday she had conjunctivitis and got her six-month vaccinations. Wednesday her eye got better (from drops the doctor gave us), but she started with a cough and a high temperature (not quite fever). Thursday the upper respiratory infection was full-blown, and she reached fever status. Friday she was even worse, and she didn't sleep (she woke up EVERY HOUR Friday night!). Saturday she wouldn't smile. That should've been a SERIOUS CLUE that she was more than just sick with a cold! If any of you have spent any time, and I mean seriously, even 30 seconds, with Veronica, you'd know that she smiles for EVERYONE! and loves to have people smile at her so she can return the joy.

Sunday I'd had enough. I think it was mostly due to the fact that between Megan, Miranda and Veronica, the last two nights Travis and I each got maybe four hours of sleep total- with hourly interruptions, mind you! This is where having more children is really hard! I also think that I'd had enough when, just after bathing both of us, and smelling oh-so-good and clean, she was crying and started coughing, and puked up EVERYTHING all over me, her and the stairs and floor (it just kept coming).

I did look at her ears (actually, just before the puking incident). To me they were a little questionable. But, combined with all the other symptoms, I figured I'd better have an expert check them out. The pediatrician spent, and I'm not kidding, less than 5 minutes with me (I know because I'd been timing Veronica's respirations and heart beat with the stop watch on my phone, but didn't turn off the timer when the doctor walked in. I checked it 8 minutes later when I was sitting in the front seat of my van- after having seen the pediatrician, buckled 'Nica in her car seat, payed our co-pay at the front desk, and walked the short distance to the van. In fact, maybe we were in the room with the doc less than 3 minutes!). He took one look at each ear and said they were "Raging"! Hmmmm, either my diagnostic skills are off, or I wasn't seeing the same thing as he was.

At any rate, Veronica still had a rough afternoon. The cough wakes her up, and she cries after each bout. But, this evening (about 8 hours after her first dose of antibiotic), she had more pink in her cheeks, she fell asleep calmly, and was breathing more normally. Her temperature also seem to have come down (without the help of an antipyretic).

I said a little prayer, as I was cuddling my sweet little half-year-old tonight. Once again, I am so grateful for antibiotics, and the power of modern medicine. I'm grateful that God has given us these tools to help relieve suffering (both for patient and mother!) And, I also prayed that everybody in this virus-infested house would sleep well tonight!

Have I mentioned I am tired of illness?

Magic Touch

OK, I've written about this before, how mom's kisses can make you feel better. But, now there's more evidence that touch can do a lot more than just be an anesthetic.

A New York Times article that hints at some publications that should be coming out this year, talks about how touch conveys a LOT of information, and that team players who touch more are more successful, and that couples who touch more (contact, not intimacy)state they are more happy in their relationships.

This summer I remember meeting a couple who had moved into our ward. I remember looking at them, and how they held hands even though each was engaged in a conversation with another person. Of course, it came out in the conversation that they'd been married only a few short weeks (less than 2 months).

I remember thinking, "Oh! I miss that!" and then realized that, even though I don't hold Travis' hand all the time (four little girls seem to get in the way of that), I do still touch him- sometimes without even really thinking about it*. Kisses before departures have become mainstay in our relationship, and I value them so much that I actually WORRY when I don't give/get one when one of us leaves the other. They are chaste quick kisses (ok, not all the time, and especially not in public), but they convey (to me at least) a reassurance of, "I love you. I will miss you. I can't wait to see you again. I'll be with you as soon as I can". I want my husband to know that EVERY time he leaves. I like having him around, and always eagerly await his return (not always to foist a baby or a kid who needs a diaper change in his arms, although that frequently happens).

I've tried to make a point of thinking about holding his hand more. At least recognizing it. We don't get much time to just sit and hold hands. Four kids, projects, jobs, church responsibilities, etc. seem to have pulled those away. and, I don't get to always sit next to him in church anymore (we seem to have to corral the girls a little bit at this age- but I look forward to when they're old enough that I can sit next to him again!)

I know that my daughters notice some of these touches (hopefully only the chaste ones!) I know that I saw that in my parents' relationship, and it brought great comfort and a sense of love. I often wonder if their financial circumstances that led to them needing to live in different states cut off those touches and led to a drying up of the relationship (at least on my dad's side).

Yes, touch is an amazingly powerful tool. It is sad when it is misused (but I don't want to focus on that). I am grateful for the good examples I've had in my life, and the reminders of pure affection and love that I continue to see today. There are still times when I feel like a mama-cat and feel like shaking off anybody who is touching me and tearing out of the room. But I love nursing and cuddling my baby, trying to smooth out her mohawk/mullet, where I carry my two-year-old up the stairs to her crib for a nap, giving her little kisses and giggling about nothing in particular. Hugs for my four-year-old when I leave her at preschool. The sad and sombre look on my seven-year-old's face when she comes to me after a particularly difficult afternoon (for both of us, usually) and says, "I just wish we could have some cuddles". It's great to see my girls give each other hugs, and share them with friends. And I love the touches I share with my husband.

Mother's kisses can heal.
Cuddles demonstrate love and provide security and a sense of well-being.
And we all need a little more of those things in our lives.

Warning: Gross Factor

As a mom you do some weird things that are UNIMAGINABLE before you have your OWN kids... like eating that half-gnawed on graham cracker because you can't find a garbage can, and can't toss it on the floor of the mall, and your kid certainly isn't going to eat it, and that beats trying to stuff it into a pocket or a purse or diaper bag where it will get crushed and then melt into the material when you wash it, or turn in to the never-ending crumb that coats everything.

But, even as a mom, I'm very very very very very tired of wiping noses. Bums? Well, that's another post.

Both Veronica and Miranda have colds. Full-blown with hacking cough, fever, noses that won't stop, and the bright watery eyes, the clinging lethargy, etc. No, I've checked their ears, so it's not ear infections. But, no matter how many tissues I stuff in my pockets my two-year-old wipes (or rather smears) her nose before I can catch the most recent stream, streaking it across her cheek, and then her hair gets stuck and dries in it. EW!

Of course, Veronica has a different solution. She is naturally inclined to suck on her top lip. I don't know why or how she started that (maybe the feel of her teeth coming in on her gums feels good on the bottom of her tongue?), but she doesn't seem to mind being a cat and grooming her own nose. EW!

So, as I am smeared in snot on both shoulders, pants, and all of my chest (kids LOVE to rub their faces on you when they are sick), and I am grossed out by the crusted hair on one daughter's cheeks and gagging at the thought of sucking on snot, I will remember that someday they will be old enough to wipe their own noses.

I will happily hand them the tissue.

Note: My children use the word "mucus". I am NOT a fan of the words used for such drippy, sticky, slimy nasal discharge; such words as snot, buggers, etc, and so I taught them the medical term. Travis laughs and cringes. Other parents look at me funny when they hear an 18-month-old use the term.

PS: I will spare you the visual and forgo any photographic documentation of the above grossness. Except for the following shot of 'Nica:


See? Sucked clean (EW!!!)

Blog Giveaway!

Here's the deal:

I'm trying to get more traffic, and hopefully a sale or two, of my diaper change kits. If you put a link on your blog to my Etsy Shop, and leave a message below, then I'll enter you in a drawing to win your choice of one of the following prizes:

1. Custom-designed cake (I'll take preferences)
2. 100% stone ground whole wheat homemade bread
3. South Bend Chocolate Factory assorted chocolates

Yes, even for those living outside of range to hand deliver, I will mail the winner the prize of his or her choice (Yup, I'd even send you your carrot cake, Buffy! It's cold enough outside, it might make it. I won't be held responsible if the frosting gets smudged, tho')

You can copy and paste this graphic,
or just include the link:
http://www.etsy.com/shop/nb692451

This giveaway will be open until February 28th. I will announce the winner on March 1st.

G'luck!!!

Broken

My phone, the one I got only 31 days ago, is busted. Not beyond use, but the LCD on the front screen is cracked. I can't return it, I can't fix it, and I'm out the money no matter what. The store said they'd be willing to let me bring it in and I could sign up for insurance, and get a new one for $50, plus $5 a month that I can't take off. Uhhh, that doesn't seem like much of a deal. Pay again and again each month for a crappy phone that if it broke again, I'd be out another $50? So, I'll just have to suffer. Or maybe I'll go shopping on eBay and get a phone there...

My phone is not the only thing that broke today. My Boppy Rock-in-Comfort swing broke. I was waiting for this to happen, though. Our first swing's motor broke within 60 days of purchase (steady use). This one lasted through the rest of Miranda (another 3 months) and five months of Veronica. I still feel I got my money's worth, but I'm sad that it doesn't work, and even more so that I can't let friends use it!

Here's a review I posted on Babies R Us about the swing:

Yes, I would still recommend this to a friend, but I would DEFINITELY get the extended warranty!!! It seems almost inevitable that it will break. Although that's rather depressing, I still feel that I got my money's worth- I just really REALLY wish it were better construction so it would last for more than one child.

I LOVED THIS SWING! It was quiet, it was smooth, the music was pleasant. The batteries lasted rather well.

Why then only one star?

PROBLEMS:
1. If the swing is not level, the motor won't work. So if it's tilted to the left or right (when looking at the baby) it won't swing.
2. The battery compartment is difficult to open and close properly. If one isn't careful, even if the screw is in tightly, the batteries will fall out.
3. The toy bar is quickly destroyed by older siblings and can fall on the infant at a light touch. The toys are irrelevant, too high for the baby to grab.
4. The seat folds in half (for travel), but this has some people thinking that the second seat position is with the seat folded or half open. There are buttons on the side that go from reclining to laying down. There's not a real "sitting up" option.
5. The motor burns out EASILY! I had to chase people away from the swing (difficult with toddlers who love their baby sister!) as any consistent resistance against the motor burns it out. I've had two, and the first one burned out after only 2 months, the second after 7 months of use.
6. Can't tell when the "lock" is on, which is a problem because it seems either the motor is burned out, the batteries are dying, or makes one think the swing doesn't work. Just double check to make sure it isn't pushed in! This will also wear out your motor.

I loved the look, I loved the portability, and I loved how much my babies loved being in the swing. I loved the neutral coloring, and that it was perfectly machine washable (great for those diaper blow-outs).

I just wish they would build a better motor, let you see how much time is left before auto shut-off, have a better way to indicate the lock is pushed in, let it work on uneven floors. I'm ok with chasing the kids away from the swing- it's a smart thing to do anyway. Folding flatter would also be appreciated.

Snowy Days

I heard birds yesterday. It was almost startling, especially since it was a gloomy, snowy, and very cold morning. I wondered what they were doing here! And, if I closed my eyes and ignored every other sensory input, my ears helped me recall summer afternoons. Ahhhh.

Then I opened my eyes to the gloom, the dusty salt on my jacket rubbed from my dirty van that was sitting in slushy, icy snow. I looked at the ice-crusted snow in the yard, and the grey clouds overhead. Yup, it is February, and this is definitely the hardest month of the winter for me. The novelty of snow has long worn off, the gray is overwhelming and opressive, and I'm so much more than ready for SPRING!

So, I'm posting this to remind myself of what I love about winter. Sunshine sparkling on snow, rosy cheeks, sledding. laughter, and hot chocolate to end a fun but chilly afternoon

outside.

Megan runs to get the "bum sled".

Miranda climbs up the hill to make her way down the "slide".

Reverse Snow Angel. (Only sometimes is she a little Devil).

Megan showing off her snow angel.

Miranda sitting up after attempting her snow angel.

The snow was so deep that Miranda had a hard time walking out of it.

Ahhhh, the beauty of a blue sky while lying warmly clad in the freezing snow.

You can almost make out their snow angels!

Megan was giving me a grumpy look. I think she was tired of all the pictures.


Miranda's second attempt at a snow angel. It was a little too cold on her head.

Not wanting Zoë to miss out on all the fun, we had arranged to go sledding with a church friend, E. We loaded up ourselves donned in massive snow gear, grabbed our bum sleds and headed over to their house where we enjoyed the colossal hill. I had all four girls with me (Veronica in the Moby wrap), and I was ever so grateful that E.'s mom, was there with us!

Zoë had fun on the innertube flying down the hill.

Megan was very hesitant and fearful, but she did go down the big hill once on her own. She was most satisfied, however, with me dragging her down the "baby hill" on the other side.

Miranda, showing no fear and all excitement, was thrilled that E's mom was willing to ride with her down the hill.

E's bigger sister, C, was awesome to take Miranda down the hill with her.

Megan was having fun eating snow, and riding in the sled as I drug her up and down the short hill.

Doesn't she look perfectly content? She loved the sledding!
Veronica (in the Moby wrap) was happy to be outside, but was NOT happy to be so cold. It was sunny when we pulled up to go sledding, but unfortunately the clouds moved so quickly and a wind picked up. We all had runny noses, much like Veronica's. She was "singing" the whole time (and it wasn't always a happy tune), and I think even she had fun.

Hide and Go Seek

Megan wanted to play Hide and Go Seek during Miranda's nap time. This is how she resolved the conflict of interests (mine with Miranda taking a nap, and her's with playing).

I needed to reorganize my linen closet anyway.

Oh, and Miranda was quite upset when I scooped her up to put her in her crib. She really thought she'd get to nap in the closet. And why not? (so Megan asked).

Self Sufficient

I've remarked in the past how independent my daughters are. It is not too surprising, given their parent's character traits. Still, there are times where I am still a little shocked and amazed. Miranda, in particular, is no stranger to fending for herself. Especially when she gets hungry and I'm busy with something...


Thankfully, I turned around before she started pouring the milk.

I've started an Etsy Shop

Yeah, it's a little crazy, I think. But I've had so many people say, "You should really sell these!"

I've decided to try my hand at selling the Diaper Change Kits that I've made as gifts for friends. I only have two styles posted on my Etsy Shop right now, mostly because I wanted to have them made before I sold them. But, there are quite a few ready for assembly, and I hope to have at least two other styles up before the end of the week.

So, take a look, spread the word, see if it's something you or a friend might be interested in.

Oh, and if you have one of my kits, I'd like to hear what YOU think about it!

Clothing and Music

I have two thoughts crowding my mind at the moment.

One is a MAJOR complaint:

Why, oh WHY!? can they not standardize children's clothing sizes?

Miranda fits everything from 24 mo, 2T, 3T and I often have a hard time telling if the shirt belongs to Megan at a size 4T or 4!

And what the heck is up with the T? I think it means it's shorter, but really, I've never found an explanation.

And, don't get me started on infant sizes! Veronica fits everything from a "newborn" to 12 month size! (Although she's mostly in the 9 month clothes; she's not yet six months old, and it's her length, not girth, that requires the larger size).

Oh, and you would laugh at the number of times Zoë has put on Megan's clothing and I almost can't tell the difference. I am afraid it will not be many more months before they are wearing the SAME size (yes, months, NOT years!) and then what will I do? I think I'll have to teach Zoë to do the laundry...

You'd think being able to sew your own clothes would fix that problem. It hasn't. I've been frustrated by what the pattern size is, and what ends up as the finished product, and how much it varies depending on who made the pattern.

Why can't they standardize sizes? Or go with the old boys' school- measurements that don't really change. A 28x30 is really a 28 inch waist girth and 30 inch inseam. THAT would make my life SO MUCH better!

The other topic?

I found some quotes on music that I wanted to write down. I've been carrying this paper around for ages because I LOVE the quotes on them. What better way to remember them than by sharing them? Unfortunately, I don't know who to give credit to on these quotes, but here they go:

"Music is one of Gods' greatest tools"

"Music is the sugar coating that makes lyrics palatable"

And, David Orland said, "Music is worship... some of us have really bad Gods."

I love music of most kinds. Sometimes I don't know why I like a song- it doesn't fit any particular genre or style that I normally like. I strongly dislike repetitive beats/lyrics. I mean, really, if I didn't understand what you were singing the first 10 times, repeating it throughout the whole song is NOT going to help. If I care enough, I'll do an internet search to find the lyrics.

I have also been guilty of the second. Some songs that I really like have lyrics that are not very good. I cringe sometimes when I really listen to the words (especially if my children are listening to the same song). I would pay to have some of the music without the lyrics. Or, be able to change a few words to make the song better. Sometimes it is merely changing one word to make it better.

I love music. I love how it can set a mood. I love how it can calm my children down. I dislike how it can incite angst, frustration, anxiety. I cherish how it can bring the Spirit of God into my thoughts and heart, but even better how it can bring that sweet Holy Spirit into my home.

I am grateful for good music. But good is arbitrary, and with me some "good" songs can change from moment to moment depending on my mood. I have been known to smack off the CD player if a song becomes too annoying even if it's a song I really like normally.

Quilting

Serendipity*.

Last year I bought a kit in Amish country to make a small quilt. When finished it will be 22" square. I thought this would be a good introduction into the world of quilting, and I would have a nice finished product that would remind me of our days in South Bend and near Amish country.

So, on a Wednesday I started cutting out squares and triangles according to the patter. Whew! I only got about half way through, measuring and cutting as exactly as I could.

We got an email from our RS president the next week. It was a call from our Stake Relief Society for our ward to sew 13 quilts in less than three weeks. And, they were to be 90" x 90" (king size?). Glup!

So, I dug out my scrap materiel to go through and piece something together. I've NEVER done this, nor even seen it done! When I started pulling out my scraps I couldn't part with them without cutting out what I wanted. It had always been my intention to make a patchwork quilt that would have pieces of all the things I've sewn for the girls over the years. So, I decided to start cutting 6" squares, assuming I could do what I wanted with my pieces later, and use whatever was left for the humanitarian quilt.

I didn't realize my math skills were so amazingly rusty until I went to a sewing group later. Uh, I would have had to cut, piece and sew 324 of those little squares to make a finished quilt. Thankfully, Kelly Galbraith looked at me funny when I said that I was cutting six inch squares. It made me redo the math and realize that it was truly as crazy as the incredulous look on her face!

Melissa Correy, who whipped out two incredibly beautiful quilts (disappearing 9-squares) in two days, gave me some links, some thoughts, and lots of great advice to help me get started.

Less than a week after the call to action, I woke up a Wednesday morning, pulled out my cutting mat and my material and set to work. I had enough 6" squares (probably close to 300, really), but I decided that making them into a 16" square, and cutting out more of the same size one-piece squares would be more economical of my time.

I took the small squares and laid out my pattern. I was frustrated with the bright pink gingham and the shocking orange. I didn't want either to be too overpowering, but I didn't want the quilt to look entirely girly pink. I used the green animal print as a stand-in for the nine-block patches of six-inch blocks I'd put together later. This is what I arrived at:
It would've been a little easier to piece things if I hadn't had the help of my two-year-old who decided that laying out blocks of material was great fun, and wouldn't this red gingham look great on top of the green animal print? Or how about taking this blue one you had right there and I'll put it over here. Oh! and here's a big square that I can help you with and add to your little squares.

I put her down for a nap before I finished laying out the whole thing and working on the nine-squares.

I cut some more large blocks and then pushed back some furniture to lay out the whole pattern as best I could. I then worked on the nine-piece blocks to get them where I could. Working with scraps was a little frustrating in that I couldn't do exactly what I wanted to because I didn't have any "extra" blocks. I was able to cut just enough. Serendipity*

So, here are the smaller pieced blocks:


I then started sewing. And pressing. And sewing. ALL DAY Wednesday I worked and worked. And, about 10pm that night (watching Hulu!) I finished sewing the top. Just in time to take it to the ward meeting to tie the quilt. I didn't have any batting or backing, but was hoping there'd be something to work with at the church.

And, I wasn't disappointed. In fact, some companies had donated the batting and material to help in the humanitarian quilts. Kelly and her daughter sewed the backing together, and Sharon McKee directed us to putting the pieces on the frame. She demonstrated how to tie (international stitch) and we set to work. In the hour-or-so there, we finished almost two rows around each of the four outsides. We took it off the frame, and I brought it home with me to finish.


Again, more Hulu and some sore fingers, I finished tying the quilt. Then came the part I'd dreaded. The binding.

In all my exactness for piecing the quilt, I was frustrated because the backing didn't match the quilt top. I couldn't do a roll binding, the backing was too short. I didn't want to do a pillow. So, I made my own binding, cutting more of the material I had on hand. Thanks, Claudia/Mom, for the help with talking me through putting the binding on!


It still didn't turn out like I wanted it to. I think I did the corners wrong. And, because I couldn't sew the binding to the back and fold it to the front, the binding is only visible on the back. *sigh* A little disappointment in an overall very satisfying project.

So, here's my finished quilt.

I'm a little sad to be giving up the first quilt I made.

Although, as I think about it, it's really my second quilt. I made my first when I was in Young Women's. I salvaged my parent's bedspread and made a baby quilt for my first-born son. The blanket is still in my hope chest. Maybe it'll go to my first-born grandson.

Still, I'm happy with this quilt. I hope it'll go to someone who can feel the labor of love put into it. And, I hope it lasts for him/her.

Oh, and although I've always greatly appreciated the quilts I have received (Grandma Winkie's cathedral window, Travis' aunts and their quilt given us on our engagement, quilts made by Aunt Anne for Zoë and Megan, quilt for the girls from Grandma Mert, quilt from the primary president when Zoë was born, quilt from Claudia that adorns our bed when the aunts' quilt doesn't, see, I really remember and appreciate and use them all!), I think this experience has given me an even greater appreciation. But, I wish I lived closer to the aunts so I could learn more. And maybe someday make something like this AMAZING pirate quilt made by Aunt Janice?

So, my next project will be to finish the Amish wall hanging. Then I will work on some comforters for the bunkbeds (I'm tired of trying to tuck in the quilts on their beds.)

*an aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident; or good fortune; luck

Dishwashing Woes

Our dishwasher started growling yesterday. No, not the one that is also the chauffer, nurse maid, nanny, nurse, etc and has had little sleep due to a nursing baby and sick kids. It's the one that works off water and electricity, the portable one that gives me counter space to work on (because there is NO OTHER counter space), and gets dishes clean and sanitized.

We called the landlord. He can't replace it, and doesn't really want to, but might (if it can't be fixed) if we are going to stay here another year, but he doesn't know when he can afford to replace it.

I guess I'll be washing the dishes by hand.

I know, I know. It isn't all that bad. I have many families in our area/ward who don't have a dishwashing machine. I washed dishes all through my teenage years (my dad refused to fix or replace our dishwasher when we lived in Washington).

But, I like my amenities, and this was a deal breaker on many of the places I looked at renting.

And yet, washing dishes adds character, gives time for reflexion, is soothing, is like threading beads on an un-knotted string.

What's your favorite work about chores? or washing dishes in particular?