Dentist

I really hate going to the Dentist. It isn't a particular individual, but the whole process and cost.

I was informed that I needed to have 5 crowns and two fillings. I think that is enough to make anybody cry. The night before my first procedure, with a new dentist, I had nightmares. I woke up and asked Travis to give me a priesthood blessing. He did, and in it the Lord said that the work would be good, and that He would show me His love.

I arrived at the office, and the secretary/assistant Jennifer said, "Oh, you didn't get my message!" The dentist had a family emergency and had to cancel the appointment. She asked when I would like to reschedule, and if I'd like to get in earlier, I could consider rescheduling with the new dentist who had joined the practice: a sweet woman from Brazil who had to repeat dental school so she could practice in the US.

It was to much: the anticipation, the lack of sleep, the freaking out over cost, the inevitable pain, and now I was being asked to choose between two dentists I didn't know. I burst into tears. I cannot imagine what Jennifer thought! I mumbled between wet salty lips that I just didn't know and that I hated the dentist. She then said, "I think you should see Dr. Karen".

So, I rescheduled, and went home and slept.

Miranda saw Dr. Karen first to have a couple of fillings. (Yes, it seems two of my girls got my horrible teeth genes!). When Dr. Karen came in and started humming to a song as she was looking at Miranda's films, I immediately felt comforted. A dentist who loves her job so much, and is so comfortable with her work that she can hum!?? Then, she said she didn't think she needed to use any anesthesia! I fell in love with her.

I wasn't as freaked out for my own appointment, which arrived all too quickly. But as I sat eating my breakfast, and cleaning up the kitchen before I left the house I grew more and more anxious and agitated. I was a wreak.

As I drove to the appointment, I chided myself for not having read scriptures (although my heart had been poured out in prayer all morning). After checking in with Jennifer, I pulled out my Ipad to read. I'm working on reading through the entire Book of Mormon, a goal of a chapter or two a day, as part of the Young Women Personal Progress program. I started where I left off in Alma 33 where Alma the Younger is teaching the humble, poor-in-spirit and poor-in-money people. He is teaching them about prayer, and how it doesn't matter where you pray. I immediately felt peace and comfort. Then I read this:

And thou didst hear me because of mine afflictions and my sincerity; and it is because of thy Son that thou hast been thus merciful unto me, therefore I will cry unto thee in all mine afflictions, for in thee is my joy; for thou hast turned thy judgments away from me, because of thy Son. (Alma 33:11)

I felt God's love pour through me. I know he knows ME, as an individual. That he has heard my many prayers full of fear, anxiety and frustration over something to ridiculous as going to the dentist. And He loves me so much, that He answered my prayers, and gifted me with peace and help, because of His Son. I was ready to brave the dentist chair.

I didn't cry- not from the numbing, not from the pain. Dr. Karen was awesome, very conservative in her use of the anesthesia so I didn't get a face full of numb and I didn't cry. She was patient and gave me a break if I needed it, or pressed ahead when I was ready. I still left with a sore mouth (who wouldn't after three hours and three crowns!?), but I left feeling like it was good work and ok.

The dentist is still my LEAST favorite place to be. And, it is so frustrating that despite taking care of my teeth, I still have horrible ones. But the best was knowing that my Heavenly Father knows me, hears me, loves me, and helps me even when what I need is something so silly as overcoming my freak-out in going to the dentist.