Reverence

I never thought I'd hear such a quiet sacrament meeting. Sadly, it wasn't in a church, and it wasn't sacrament. We were sitting in an auditorium at Saint Mary's University (the sister-school of Notre Dame) watching a performance by the BYU Dancer's Company as they came through Indiana on their tour.

Originally I had thought to only take Zoë to the performance, but Megan was nearly heartbroken when we started to leave, and so I decided to try her and see if she could handle sitting through something like this quietly.

I was not surprised to see many people from our Stake at the performance. I wish we could've had more nonmembers there, but it was still great to see so many people there to support the dancers.

I was a little surprised to see how many children- young children-were there. A number of infants, a handful of toddlers (ironically mostly from our ward), and quite a few kids agesd 5-7. Although, the vast majority was made up of teens and adults.

We've had a few discussions and debates about reverence in the chapel, particularly during Sacrament meeting. We have quite a few young (VERY young) families. There are about 8 active young women (12-18 y), but there are about 20 active nursery kids (18mo-3y ). I don't know how many primary children we have, but I imagine it's close to 60 active (meaning they come to church most every Sunday). This can make for a very noisy room, no matter how well-behaved the kids are. But, I've heard many people say that it isn't just the kids, but the adults who are making the chapel so noisy.

The auditorium was nearly silent between dances. There was the given rustling and occasional cough. I did hear a few babies start to cry, but they didn't last through the entire dance (although they might've been drowned out by the music). I think Megan was the loudest- especially when the dancers came on stage wearing skin-tight leotards and Megan asked in a normal (i.e. loud) voice (despite the repeated reminders and insistence that she whisper!) "Are they wearing any underwear?"

I began thinking, "Why can't our sacrament meeting be this quiet- this reverent?" -- of course sans the underwear comment.

Something I've been working on is to really get Zoë and Megan to be reverent/quiet during Sacrament meeting. I've always been a stickler about sitting quietly while the sacrament is passed, and during the prayers, but I'm trying to get them to understand that they also need to be quiet and behave properly during the rest of the hour. It is long, they are young, but I know that children can behave in such a manner, and it won't hurt them.

Still, as I sat in sacrament meeting, taking away all the books, pencils, paper, etc. from my daugthers, and trying to get the friend to understand what we were doing as they started to prepare to bless the sacrament, I was hit broad in the face with how unutterably NOISY it was. I tried to discern if it was scuffle noises (NO!), if it was children noise (YES!), but was there adult noise, too? Some of it came from a new convert family talking to each other/children, but I couldn't tell if it was others or not.

I just remember feeling so sad that as a group of Saints we could be quiet during the pauses between songs at a dance performance, but we couldn't be quiet and reverent during one of the most sacred things- remembering our covenants with our Father in Heaven.

I will continue to work with my daughters and help them learn to be reverent during Sacrament meeting. I know it's difficult- I've often missed taking the sacrament as I walked out to the foyer with a cranky (noisy) child as the Priest walked in from just passing the sacrament to the people there. I've been in the Mother's lounge more times than I can count nursing an infant. I've had to reprimand my children for rolling on the floor, ripping paper, talking in loud voices, playing with friends instead of paying attention, etc. It's a work in progress.

To be fair, the composition of ages in the two groups were different- but how much of the attitude of the adults around those children influenced them to behave better at the concert than at the sacrament meeting? Don't we need to lead by example?

One more thing: There was an incredible talk given at General Conference in April by Margaret S. Lifferth, the first counselor the Primary General Presidency, entitled Respect and Reverence. She says that we need to teach reverence to a child:

However, reverent behavior is not a natural tendency for most children. It is a quality that is taught by parents and leaders through example and training. But remember, if reverence is rooted in love, so is the teaching of it. Harshness in our training begets resentment, not reverence. So begin early and have reasonable expectations. A toddler can learn to fold his arms and get ready for prayer. But it takes time, patience, and consistency. Remember that we are not only teaching a child his first lessons in reverence, but the child may be mastering his first attempts at self-discipline. This process of teaching and self-discipline continues line upon line and precept upon precept.

So, patience with my own children, and patience with others is the best thing to do- but continue with teaching and not just give up.

As for the dance performance, Zoë really enjoyed the entire show. It was a lot of fun, and the dancers did a wonderful job. Megan had a rough time being quiet (we're working on whispering), but I think she enjoyed the new experience, and the dancing as well. I was very grateful to the couple we sat next to. They are in our ward and the Brother loves to tease my girls unmercifully. He was so sweet and offered to hold Megan (my lap space is becoming limited) since there were some tall adults who sat in front of us. He was so great with both Zoë (who sat next to him) and Megan, and his wife was so sweet to share him with us. I'm glad we went. I'm glad that the girls were so excited to go on a Mommy-Daughter date- they were so adorable as we walked to the building, and they were incredibly well-behaved.

Oh, and as for my girls' behavior on Sunday- it improved over last week! Megan attempted to talk in a whisper more, and I only had to ask them to be quiet half-a-dozen times instead of a dozen-times-a-dozen times. They're learning...