You do get noticed

I saw my neighbor friend talking to another neighbor I have not yet met. She lives on the opposite corner down the street, has no children (at home), and apparently teaches English at Notre Dame. I know, it's really sad that I haven't met all of my neighbors, nor do I know their names. Of course, I am horrible with names.

When I went over to talk with them and meet this neighbor, I was impressed with her deportment and diplomacy. Then, I was surprised at a comment she made, "I have noticed and think it's wonderful how much you play with your daughters."

It's something I frequently struggle with. As a stay-at-home mom I know that my "job" is to provide a safe and clean and beautiful home for my family and to teach and love my daughters. I also feel lots of pressure to spend "quality time" with them. Any mom feels this pressure, but I think for those moms who stay-at-home all day there is even more pressure to make sure she is teaching and playing and actively involved in her children's lives at every available moment.

I've read that mothers today actually spend more time with their children than they did in the past. I also know that the activities are different. When I take them to the park and I'm "spending time" with them, am I actually chatting with another mom, or am I actually playing with them? When we work on "projects" together, is it more parallel play than actual interactive playing? I know I slip into that.

Which is what made this neighbor's observation all that more pointed to me. Here was a person who is not outside all that much (that I've noticed- and I usually look around for people). Yet, she's noticed that I play with my daughters! I know it shouldn't matter what anybody else thinks, but sometimes it's good to get a "stranger's" viewpoint to put things into perspective.

So, I won't feel bad when I ignore my kids of an afternoon while I work on the computer, take a much-needed pregnancy-induced nap, or read a book. I won't feel bad when I have to get the chores finished before we go have some fun. I will try to engaged with my children and have interactive and not "parallel" play with them. But, really, I think they and I are doing rather well.

Our "BYU Cougars" at the Field Museum in Chicago in front of a cougar display.