We had a lesson on Sunday that related somewhat to giving service.to others. This has been something that's been on my mind a lot lately; how can I serve?
Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm serving by raising my children (although if you'd been a fly on the wall or could overhear my thoughts this past week, you'd hear my thoughts expressing frustration and exasperation with them). But, I look at women around me and see how they so freely give of their time and service. How, moments after talking to the same person about the same thing, they have offered service in one form or another. Why didn't it even occur to me!?! Not that I wasn't feeling sympathy or wondering how I could help this person, but !
Case and point:
A friend of mine is going through a lot of health issues and struggles. After a few phone conversations during the day, and trying to give her understanding, encouragement, etc. I felt like I was still missing the mark. Then she asked me what I was doing Tuesday. Uh, just a doc apt for one kid and another to take to/from school. I reciprocated her question and asked what she was planning to do and she said she only had a doctor's appointment at 1pm. Awkward silence. I could almost hear her asking for something, but what!? Should I invite her to come spend time with me? Should I go over there? Should I offer to help her with some work she's doing? What do I do!?!??
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Today when I spoke with her again, I could see how much pain she was in. I asked if her plans had changed and she said only that she wasn't able to take pain medication because she had to drive to her doctor appointment.
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Ten minutes later, it FINALLY occurs to me, "Hey, are you being DENSE!?!? Why don't you offer to take her to the doctor!?" I did and she with relief accepted (after hesitantly asking, "Don't you have things you need to do today? Won't that interfere with your children?" Nope.)
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Seriously, four or five conversations, questioning/asking/pondering what I can do to help, and it takes me THAT LONG to figure out what she really was asking/needing!
Sadly, I feel this is a common occurrence. I am willing and wanting to serve, but all I can think to do is say, "Well, if there's anything you think I can do to help, let me know". Who, seriously, takes somebody up on that!?!? Even when I was barely hobbling around with a newborn and three other children, in pain and not walking because of a slipped disk, did I think of things people could do for me? YES! Did I ask? No. Why? Well, I didn't know if they were available, or I thought I could do it myself.
So, my question really becomes, How do I know what to do to help somebody who obviously is going through something difficult? Yeah, yeah, the Holy Ghost will tell you. But, seriously, I'd been praying and pondering for a full day and through many conversations before I thought what I could offer this friend! How pathetic is that!?
OK, I won't beat myself up anymore. But, if you have any ideas/thoughts on what YOU do, how you are able to see need and fill it with service, I'd love some tips. No, I really want advice. I want to know how to do this better. I'm looking, and trying, but not seeing how to step in.
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