Experiment: What would a Holy woman do?

These are the emails that were sent back and forth between my Relief Society President, asking for help in a Woman's Conference talk she was giving and then my responses to her asking me to try and experiment...

to my sweet sisters,

 

i have been asked to teach a stake relief society class based on wendy watson nelson's talk 'what would a holy woman do?'. in preparation and in thinking about being holy, i would like to invite you to participate in journey with me, if you are willing. i am asking (similarly to sister nelson) that during 3 days in the near future that as you approach one of your normal-day activities, that you ask yourself, "what would a holy woman do". for example, how would a holy woman do laundry, grocery shopping, or prepare a meal? how would a holy woman approach the tv or the computer? what would a holy woman do to greet her husband, her children, her co-workers? what would a holy woman do in a conflict or what would she do if contention arose? how would a holy woman exercise or talk to a friend? how would she approach her calling, the scriptures, her visiting teaching? the possibilities are endless.

 

if you could pick a task for 3 days and then reply back to me your experiences, that would be great. ...you can pick the same task each day or choose a different one each day. there is not a wrong way to do this.

.




Dear Friend,

When I thought on what activity to choose to ask myself, "What would a Holy woman do?" I decided that I should do something that was not necessarily something I always did in joy, happiness, peace, or a Christ-like manner. Preparing meals, especially dinner, are frequently hectic, frenzied, etc. I have taken a lot of that out by planning dinners a month in advance (so I don't spend 3 hours trying to decide what to fix for dinner and then discover what finally sounds good is something I don't have ingredients for, and then end up eating freezer pizza for dinner). But, I still find that meal preparation is repetitive and sometimes depressing (it NEVER ends, and there's always so much after the preparation to do: the clean-up)

The first morning I remembered as I was fixing my own breakfast that I don't prepare breakfast for my family (my husband does as I am at Seminary in the morning). I shrugged it off, and then thought, "That's ok., there are still two other meals I can prepare as a Holy woman."

Later that first day, I got a phone call as I was out shopping with two of my daughters. I was waiting to get something laminated at the store and then was planning to head home and prepare a healthy meal for my daughters, thinking about what a Holy woman would do. It was a friend, one who was having some personal difficulties in her life, and she asked, "Can we meet to get some frozen yogurt and talk?"

Of course!

And, then I thought, "Serve my children Frozen yogurt for lunch!?! Um, is that what a Holy woman would do?"

And, yet, in my head I heard clearly the words, "Yes!"
Yeah, it isn't the healthiest lunch for my daughters. It isn't what I had planned or considered I would need to do as a Holy woman, but I knew that my friend needed me far more than my daughters needed to have homemade bread, fresh fruits and vegetables at that moment. They would get those things the rest of the week.

This was not how I imagined the experiment would go. I thought that I would begin each meal preparation with a prayer, consider what types of food I was presenting my children- giving them healthy and well-rounded meals lovingly and carefully prepared, and then have a calm, thoughtful and cheerful manner as I prepared these amazing dinners. As it turned out, because of life and the crazy circumstances, my meals were slap-dashed together, prepared more with speed in mind than culinary acumen, and I was struggling to just get food on the table and hardly considering if I was calm, thoughtful or cheerful.

Lunches were crazy- the second lunch I had to cook the macaroni twice, and it was late because I was babysitting a friend's kids and had to run errands with them (four kids make things take ten times as longer!) and the third day I grabbed a bag of sweet peppers and a couple packages of hot dogs as I rushed out the door to help another friend in need. My dinner preparations were also rushed due to "life": doctor appointments, piano lessons, people's needs. Not one meal was a culinary delight (for vision or palate) as I had imagined. Not one was a new dish especially designed to serve my family. And, although in each I considered the healthfulness of the food, I did find that often the other needs were trumping over the fact if fresh fruit included with the salad and main dish.

What was my answer to  the self question of "What would a Holy woman do while preparing meals"?
She is able to prioritize the needs of those around her, answering the promptings God sends her to serve the greater need, sometimes sacrificing her own or society's ideal to provide for needs more important than a balanced meal. A holy woman doesn't worry that the meal has all the elements, because she knows it will balance out on those days that aren't so chaotic and crazy, but that the service she is giving (to her family in their meal, or to others in altering that family meal) is the most important; LOVE is what a Holy woman is all about, because she is a reflection and a conduit for the greatest Love of all: that of a Heavenly Parent to His children.