Parenting Lessons

OK, so I know I'm not an expert. I was sitting in a preschool orientation meeting with Megan's preschool teacher earlier this fall and listening to how the teachers discipline at school: get down on a child's level, use a calm voice, explain (or even better, get the child to explain) the problem, and then help the child come up with some resolutions. Also, if behavior persists, distract the child or remove the child from the situation.

My friend sitting next to me has a son the same age as Zoë, and a second son a little younger than Megan. She leaned over and whispered to me, "You know, after this meeting I go home and for about a week I use these skills, and then it's right back out the window!"

For me it was a refreshing wake-up call. I used to be so effective at this with Zoë, and moderately so with Megan, but even less with Miranda. Poor Veronica! So, I'm back to trying again to use these techniques.

Yes, I still spend too much time yelling, something I'm not proud of and trying to work on. And, with my efforts, I have seen a wonderful response. In myself! I'm not as upset and frustrated because I've taken out the emotion on my side. I feel more patient (most of the time). I've also found that having a good night's sleep is helpful- for both me and the kid.

When I read this article in the New York Times, I had to laugh. Are there seriously parents out there who don't know how to be the Alpha? That is SO not a problem in my family! I grew up in a house full of Indian Chiefs, as my mom liked to call us girls and my dad, and no Indians. My current family is not dissimilar (although my girls' dad is MUCH more laid back, he still has that iron fist in a kid glove- so they know not to push him too far).

I know many people who have (had) dogs and children, and most of them say that training a dog is not too dissimilar from raising a young child. So, there is some merit to the idea of using similar techiniqes. I especially love the quote at the end of the article:

“This is good?” she wrote. “Did I have that attitude as a parent? Was I focusing on the positives, the opportunities?..."

Some of my best parenting moments are when a child, who knows she has done something wrong, will come to me and say, "Sorry, mama!" and put her arms around me. If I've disciplined properly, I am also in the mood to receive that apology, and both of us benefit from the greater love we show each other.

It's In the Genes

Megan and Miranda had their yearly well-child checkup today. They look great, and are right on for developmental milestones. Although, personally, I still think they are a bit ahead in the verbal department...

Megan is in the 80%-ile for her height, and in the same percentile for her weight. So, she's tall and well-proportioned. That's pretty cool, but I wish (even more!) that she would be starting Kindergarten this fall... that way she won't be the tallest, oldest kid in her class. Still, she does so well with others, I know she'll be great wherever she lands!

Miranda also got her stats: She is 35.25 inches tall, and both her height and weight put her into the 80%-ile. So, she's also tall and well-proportioned. If you take a child's height at 2 years of age and double it, that is supposed to be the height when they reach adulthood. Miranda will be close to 6' tall! (OK, so I guess she'll be 5' 11").

I cannot remember what Zoë was, I'll have to check when I take her back in... But, I know that each child seems to be slightly taller than the one before. Megan was 34.75" at 2 years, meaning she'll be close to 5' 10" tall. I wonder how tall Veronica will be? Will she reach the six foot mark? I wonder if maybe all of them will get there....

So, the girls got their height from their dad. I guess they get the "well-proportioned" from their mom. That's not a bad combination.

I wonder what other traits they inherited...

Parent Teacher Conference

I met with Megan's preschool teacher last night. I find these conferences to be insightful. I feel like I spend so much time with my daughters, and often not the same type of time (I'm cleaning, cooking, running errands, etc). It's refreshing to have another adult observe and talk about what she sees in my child.

Megan's teacher had NOTHING bad to say about Megan. I don't think it was just because she's a super positive person. Zoë had the same teacher and I heard about some of the struggles Zoë had in class with different things.

Megan loves school. Her teacher said she even asks for "homework". She loves anything to do with art and is probably where she spends a majority of her time. Her other favorite activity is "dramatic play". That's the new way to say "pretending" or "dress up". Her teacher said that Megan plays so well with others; she's a little teacher herself; she has so much enthusiasm and excitement that she gets the other children in the class excited about the activity. Megan loves to learn, no matter what the teacher brings out. She is also experimenting with writing letters.

Can you believe I was really surprised, and yet part of me wasn't surprised at all? I know my girls are bossy, independent, and quick learners. I know that they are "leaders" in one way or another. I just didn't realize how much Megan was... and yet I've seen it at home. When she's here she plays so well with Miranda that I can almost not even be around. She's very creative in her playing, but works well with what others want to play. Such as this summer with her cousin Jack, who was the good bad-guy, and she was the Queen his mother.

I kept waiting for the teacher to tell me areas of improvement. Megan can't catch a ball. And, they want to encourage her more and work with her more on writing the alphabet. Continue to foster her drawing skills (her teacher said that Megan has incredible ability and attention to detail; I think that's definitely inherited: a talent possessed by her dad, her Aunt Molly, and her Uncle Brett!)

I forgot to ask (although Travis mentioned it when I told him about the interview) if the teachers have seen her contrary side- the one where she will argue until the sun goes down that it's night time...

It's so great to have other people think your child is as wonderful, smart, fun, happy, and pleasant as you do, and they are as glad as you are to have her around!

"MY Happy Birthday!"

I believe it is due to being the third child, but Miranda is very teritorial and possessive. She will share, and she's good about it if you ask her nicely, but she definitely makes it known when she wants something to be hers: "MY ________". This has been especially true about Ariel, a Barbie that was originally Megan's birthday present. But it was also the first thing she said about her cake when she saw it on Saturday morning. "MY Happy Birthday Ariel". She now adds cake, but she believes "Happy Birthday" is a synonym for cake.


When Miranda woke up this morning, she started chattering (in her not-so-quiet voice) immediately about her Happy Birthday, and that we would eat it after church. I think she said "Happy Birthday" about 20 times in 2 minutes!
I don't think she had the concept of the part about turning 2 or about presents yet... but she sure did know when the time came to open them. Of course, I think her sisters helped clue her in on what to do, and offered LOTS of assistance.







We had a great time talking to Grandma & Grandpa, and then the Giauques while opening presents. Miranda was very excited to share her birthday cake, at least in theory. Grandpa said Miranda could have his piece (after she offered him some). But after scraping all the frosting off her piece of cake, I decided to give her another slice (more frosting) and told her it was Grandpa's piece, she was quite upset and insited it was "MY Happy Birthday! [cake]". She loved that it was Ariel, that it was her Happy Birthday [cake].

We all enjoyed the cake!
And opening more presents (Note that she has Ariel in her hands- she grabbed hold of her all night!)She also loved her birthday presents (Ariel books, Ariel polly-pocket, Ariel barbie doll, some cute books from G&G, cards





and a little play-dough kit that lets you extrude the dough to create manes, tails, elephant trunks. Her sisters really enjoyed the latter, too!

Happy Second Birthday, Miranda!


Singing Happy Birthday:

She LOVES Ariel!

Sunshine Eyes

I think my girls have the COOLEST eyes. Sorry, it's not meant to brag (ok, maybe a little), but I am always in awe how each daughter has COMPLETELY different shape and color.

Zoë's eyes are a clear gray-blue color, full of light from the inside, and framed with these gorgeous lashes. She's always had them look as if they are sunshines just peeking over the edge of her bottom lid. When I'd nurse her and she was exhausted, she'd keep her eyes WIDE AWAKE until the last possible second, and then they'd be shut. No droop, no open-and-close slow flutter, just wide open.

Megan has always had HUGE eyes. Somebody once described them as "Disney eyes". The HUGE luminous eyes that seem to fill her whole face. They are green in color, and also framed by dark lush lashes. They are stunning when she catches you with those HUGE eyes.

Miranda has almond-shaped dark green eyes. I've had the hardest time telling what eye color she has since she was a baby- they were always so dark. I think they are green, but maybe they will change some more as she gets older. Although her light eyebrows make her features look odd sometimes, her eyes are exotic in shape. I absolutely love them- especially when she smiles.
My friend has been so kind to scoop up my daughters and watch them at her house so I can cut out nativities as part of a Relief Society activity. She has a son who is in between Megan and Miranda in age. She told me that as they were grocery shopping, her son saw a Raisin Bran box and exclaimed, "Look, Mom, it's Miranda!"
I think there's a little something lost in the translation, but when you see Miranda's face animated, it's incredible how true his comment is!

Veronica is still young yet. I'm not sure what exactly her eyes will be like, but I do know that they are not like any of her sisters; maybe a little bit of Zoë (a clear, but possibly darker, blue) or a little of Megan (they are also HUGE) and possibly the sunshine cheeks like Miranda? But like her sisters, she also has beautiful eyes:

Especially when she smiles:

Yup, I love my girls' eyes. But, I love them the most because they are the windows to a soul, and I can see that these young girls are beautiful on the inside as well.

Laughter is the Best Medicine

I am certain that, although all my daughters have been verbose, Veronica takes the cake for the earliest laugh. I put her in the bathtub with all 3 of her sisters. I ran out of the room to grab the camera (Zoë was holding the baby) and when I was on my way back into the room I heard Nica GIGGLING!

I was shocked, incredulous, flabbergasted! Remember, she's only 11 weeks old... not even three months.

She seems to be a social laugher... Megan was laughing in Veronica's face, and that's what set off the giggles. I've been able to get Nica to laugh two other times- one of which I caught on video:

Yes, I took pictures of all four girls in the tub. I haven't looked at them yet, but I do know that all four girls were enjoying the splashing, the bubbles, and the laughter!

Finished

Hurrah!



I finally finished the Halloween pictures. All the photos are posted on this web page. You can scroll to the Halloween pictures on the left hand side.

We had a blast! And, I'm ready to throw away the GOBS of candy we have... it's just too tempting for me.

TXT

So, I've joined the ranks of texters. I have added the "200 text" per month (I'm still too cheap and have such an old phone- 3 years! that I haven't added the unlimited everything... I might try to hold out until I feel convinced my daughter(s) need a cell phone). It is interesting how this lingo has also infiltrated into our everyday language. I am not very good at texting- I end up writing out everything. I only know a few abbreviations...

what are you're favorite?
which ones annoy the heck when used in a conversation?
which ones have you invented?
were some of these around before texting?
do you know these? others?

IDK
BTW
BRB
BFF
LOL
ROTFL
TTFN

C U L8R

Want to know more than you ever wanted to know? Here's a link to "text messaging, chat abbreviations and smiley faces". Yeah, it's crazy.

Thanks Molly for teaching me many of the above!