More pictures of Veronica

These pictures were taken this morning and this afternoon. She loves to be held and enjoys snuggling in to any shoulder or arm crook. Her sisters are still enjoying her (for their short visits, anyway). They were also excited to receive some Webkinz animals that Nana sent for them to celebrate Veronica's arrival.

Veronica woke up from a brief nap after nursing, and was looking out the window at the sunshine and blue sky. She was quiet and so sweet. I was glad to be able to take some pictures of her in the afternoon light with her eyes wide open. Here they are....

The Delivery Details

Every mother has a birthing story. One for each child, in fact. Each story (per child, not just per mother) is different, and they are swapped and shared any time one of a group of mothers is pregnant (and sometimes when they are just in the mood to talk about birthing stories).

I don't know how dads or husbands feel about these stories. I know that my husband remembers things more vividly, and from a different perspective. I imagine he does NOT enjoy reliving the experience through the sharing of the story with others. He seems to remember the pain more than the joys...

Since I've had c-sections, my birthing stories seem to leave me out of the excited discussion of lengths of labor, how women dealt with issues of pain, transition, back labor, etc. Still, I've had some labor, and so I can join in on a few discussions...

With this delivery, I'd had contractions off/on for a few weeks. They got to 10 min apart but were not painful, and after spending 45 min being evaluated in the hospital on the 13th of August I was sent home (one of the worst "safe" things that can happen to a pregnant woman close to term!)

I didn't bother calling my doctor when they would get down even to 8 min apart, and just tried to ignore them during the next week. (see my post Waiting for the Next One)

The Saturday before my scheduled c-section, I took the girls to their swim lessons. They had a GREAT time (as always!), and they played hard in the water. When we got back from the second lesson, I didn't feel like eating much and just had some ramen noodles. Yup, that's what I wanted for lunch. I sat down to work on the computer and noticed that I was having some contractions, and they were starting to get uncomfortable. I started puttering around, getting last minute things together for the trip on Monday morning to the hospital, running a load of laundry, putting away some clothes. My mom left the house super clean, so I really didn't have much to work on.

Megan and I painted our fingernails together (we both chose sparkles). I then decided that I needed to rest some, cuz the contractions were starting to hurt a little more. I put in a movie, grabbed a book, a pen and paper to record when I was having contractions, and Megan and I sat in the living room together. They were 10 minutes, approaching 9 minutes apart. Hmmmm.

Over the next few hours, I asked Travis to make dinner (I was NOT hungry, and I didn't feel great- I had a steamed milk for dinner after the girls were in bed). The two older girls went to a neighbor's house to play for a while and Travis and I took Miranda for a short walk. I got the girls home, and then they took a bath and we put them in bed, still having contractions. I grabbed my book and tried to read, noticing that the contractions were not necessarily closer together, but were getting rather strong- enough that it was distracting me from reading.

My awesome husband looked at me and asked, "What can I get you?" I answered, "A sitter?" with a half smile.

I promised myself that if I was still having contractions that night when my mother-in-law arrived (she was currently on a bus from the Chicago airport headed for Notre Dame), I'd head to the hospital, unless the contractions got down to 5 min apart, or if my water broke and then I would have to leave right away. I explained this (at least in some form, one way or another) to Travis.

He started playing a video game, and I continued reading until about 9pm. I was ready to go. They were still only 8-9 min apart, but they were really starting to hurt- enough that I had to stop whatever I was doing and breath slowly, clench my fists, and try to visualize a sandy beach with warm water lapping at my feet.

To try and distract myself, I asked Travis if he would like to play Legoland (we got the PS2 games for our anniversary this year: StarWars and Indiana Jones). I warned him I might be pushing the pause button every 10 min or so...

I was about ready to throw in the towel when Travis stood up and said he was going to wait for his mom at the bus depot on ND campus. I waited almost 45 minutes, and by the time she arrived, the contractions were 6 min apart. Um, yeah, I was definitely headed for the hospital.

Travis took Grandma's bag up to her room, brought the car around front, and grabbed my bag to take out. We gave Grandma a hug and headed to the hospital.

They hooked me up to the monitor. The resident came in and asked a few routine questions (you ladies know the ones), and then said she'd check me. I told her that I would be high, thick, tight, and probably less than 1 cm. Yup, exactly. Even after almost 12 hours of labor, NO CHANGE. Yeah, uh, that's why I have c-sections.

The resident talked with the on-call physician, Dr. Blickensderfor (or Dr. Blick for short), and they decided to monitor my contractions and the baby for an hour and then decide what to do. I was secretly hoping my water would break so there was NO CHANCE of them sending me home. I was afraid they might just do that because the contractions were more than five min apart, and my cervix hadn't changed. Well, after the exam, my contractions were consistently five minutes apart, and still painful. I was glad they didn't make me wait any more than an hour! The resident came in and said, "How'd you like to have a baby tonight?"

YEAH!

So, at 2:39, after getting my spinal block, after the doctors were scrubbed in, after I had stupid nasal canula blowing oxygen in my nose, they brought Travis in (who was exhausted and not feeling well), and they performed a routine c-section without complications. Our daughter was born at 2:39, and she was GREAT! Good cry, APGARs of 9 & 9. There was a lot of scar tissue from the previous sections, and my bladder had adhesions tacking it to the uterus (no wonder I had to pee so much!). Dr. Blick said that the lower uterine segment was thin as well. Still, no indication that said I couldn't have another pregnancy...

They took us into recovery, and our little girl showed some interest in nursing, but we were both pretty tired. It was 5am before we got to the hospital room. I sent Travis home to get at least an hour's worth of sleep, and I tried to sleep as well while they cleaned up the baby and assessed her. She weighed 8 lbs and 3 oz and was 21 inches long.

The girls came to visit before going to church. (See previous post for pictures and more information). After they left, I thought I'd better try to get some sleep since I'd only had one hour of 'rest' in the last 36. As I was trying to get comfortable, I noticed that my left glute/hip was hurting. My spinal had worn off around 9am, and I'd already been out of bed and walking, had my foley out and my IV stopped. I was feeling GREAT- until I woke up from my nap.

My glute was KILLING me, and when I stood up to go to the bathroom, I noticed my foot was numb. Then I realized it was also not working right-- my leg muscles were weak.

I freaked. This was NOT GOOD! (In all honesty, I think part of my freaking out was due to the fact I hadn't slept more than an hour in the last 36- but it was still a bad sign)

They called in the anesthesiologist, who ordered a CT scan to make sure that there wasn't a complication from the spinal block he'd placed for the surgery. Then, they called in a neurologist because the CT didn't show anything (which was actually good- it meant there likely wasn't a problem from the spinal block, i.e. no bleeding or "scary" problems). The neurologist examined me, and then sent me for an MRI. I came back to my room from that exam by 5:30pm, still hurting, still numb, and still a little worried-

The anesthesiologist came in and explained that I had a herniation pressing on S1, one of the nerves that goes to the left side of my leg, causing the pain, numbness and weakness. He said the Neurologist would probably make recommendations.

She decided to refer me to a neurosurgeon. UGH! That freaked me out! I knew that in most cases, herniations can be treated "conservatively" meaning they just watch and wait and treat symptoms. Frequently they will resolve (improve) on their own. Surgery is not usually been shown to be any more helpful.

Of course, the neurosurgeon came in during the 30 min Travis was gone to go get the girls for their afternoon visit. He was (thankfully!) still here when Travis came back, and Grandma took the girls to go look at Veronica in the nursery and play with some toys that are somewhere in the hospital.

The doc said basically I have an 80% chance of recovering, but it will take SIX WEEKS to improve, and the numbness could be there up to a year. UGH! He said that surgery is not generally recommended, and the hardest part is not getting frustrated with the pain, and being patient (ha ha!) and not overdoing anything in the meantime.

Uh, yeah, I've got a NEWBORN and FOUR DAUGHTERS!

He said he would see me in 2 weeks to see how things are going, and if there's any new developments to give him a call earlier. He said I need to move as I can, avoid anything that makes the pain worse, and do what I can to keep comfortable. If I am doing something that hurts, I should've already stopped. Hummm. He also gave me some tips on how to walk (I kinda have to relearn), and I have been told I am to go barefoot or wear sneakers/boots so I don't slip.

I was really glad Travis was there to hear. For one, it reassures him that what I have is real, that neither he nor I did anything to cause this (including having a baby), and that I will have to take it easy for the next six weeks. It'll be good to have him telling me to slow down, as I know it will be really hard to keep myself from doing too much. BUT, I want to get better, and I reallly don't want to make things worse (i.e. permanent nerve damage), and I don't want surgery! So, I will be good (and) patient.

I am SO GRATEFUL that, since this seems to have been inevitable, it happened when I have the most help I could possibly ask for: my mother-in-law and my aunt will be here helping me for the next 20 days, and it might just be enough to get me through and really help me get better, not only from the c-section, but from this herniated disc.

I got a blessing a few weeks back, for the baby and for my back pain. In it I was told that Veronica would come "when she should" and that I would recover "as I followed the prescribed treatment". At the time I thought that was some strange wording- what "prescribed treatment" was there for recovery from a c-section??? Uh, well, I guess that was more directed for the herniation.

I am so grateful for the Power of the Priesthood. I am so grateful for my awesome husband- who has been so supportive (despite the fact he hates seeing me in pain and has been VERY worried about this whole thing). I am grateful that Veronica is healthy, beautiful, eats well, sleeps well, and is just the perfect little baby. I am grateful that my mother-in-law is here so I know my other daughters are well cared for and having fun. I am so thankful that we have wonderful modern medicine to give me answers and relief.

So, that's what is going on with my and what Travis meant in the email when he said, "Nadine had a scare with her left leg going numb and we had CAT scans and MRI done, which showed her to have a minor tweak of the back and should be fine." I do believe I will be fine, so long as I listen to my body and take it easy.

So, that's my birthing story for this fourth delivery. Like I said- each one is different.

Oh, and I think the best way to have a c-section is without any labor at all (Miranda's). But it was really nice to know that both Veronica and I were READY to have her out!

Welcome, Veronica Selene!

Born on August 23rd at 2:39 am weighing 8 pounds and 3 ounces and measuring 21 inches in length, our fourth daughter is a true joy! We are so grateful that she is wonderfully healthy, a good eater and a good sleeper. Her name means "heavenly harbinger of victory".

Veronica's big sisters were VERY excited to meet her when she was only 1/2-day old. Miranda walked into the room and said, "Baby is night-night" and then she held her arms out and asked if she could hold her! Zoë was excited and was very sweet with her. "She likes me, mom" is what she told me after Veronica snuggled into her arms. Megan was interested in everything that was going on (the "hole" in my belly, the bed that moves up and down, the cups of water with a straw, and Veronica, too).

I've posted pictures of the girls' visit below:

Grandma spots as Zoë snuggles her new baby sister.

Veronica's three big sisters crowd around to be closer to her.

Veronica settles in as Megan gets her turn to hold the new baby.

Our Family!

The girls are holding out their hands, ready to carry their new sister.

Veronica loves to be held and cuddled closely.

I was talking to Miranda and she was

excitedly explaining to ME that the baby was "night-night".

Miranda would have held the baby the entire time. We had a hard time convincing her that her sisters needed a turn, too. She would say, just moments after Zoë started holding Veronica, "Not Zoë turn. My turn!"

I will try to post some pictures of just Veronica (close ups) later...

Beach Trip

We've been fortunate to live so close to such a FUN beach! Since I bought a season parking pass this year, I wanted to be sure to get my money's worth. We've done rather well, making it to the beach nearly every week this summer that we've been home. It's awesome that we've been able to go with great friends, and we were even able to take Nana with us twice while she was here. These are pictures of our trip with her there during the first week she came out to Michiana...

Miranda didn't spend much time on the towel-
she was much more interested in the water and the sand.

Zachary worked hard to dig this moat. Occasionally the waves
would wash some water into the pond.
Miranda loved digging out and filling in the moat.

Megan didn't spend much time on the towel either-
water was her preferred medium.

There's nothing like digging your toes into hot sand.

Zoë was posing for a picture that we compiled
for Snapfish so we could "earn" a free photo book.

It was hard to get her laying down-
Zoë spent most of her time swimming in Lake Michigan.

At the beginning of the summer I couldn't get Miranda to go near the water.
This trip, since the water was actually warmer, she had so much fun splashing and playing in both sand and water.

This wasn't our only trip to Silver Beach with Nana... we also went with Travis the following week (more pictures to follow in another post).

Blueberry Picking

About the size of a pearl, the color of a dark blue crayon with a dusty cover, and a taste that pops with sweetness in your mouth when your teeth apply just enough pressure, blueberries are awesome.

While living in Texas we never took advantage of picking our own blueberries. Apparently they are really good there. We had friends who went and said it was great.

Yet, here we live next to Michigan, where it is known for its blueberries. I wasn't going to let another opportunity to gather fresh "homegrown" fruit pass me by. I found out about the Blueberry Ranch that is just a 20-minute drive from our house that grows organic blueberries. Nana and I loaded up the girls and headed for this farm to, as Zoë said, harvest some blueberries.
We tried to encourage other friends to join us, but either we picked a bad day for them, or they just weren't as excited about fresh-picked blueberries.

At any rate, after waiting a bit for people to join us we decided to head on out to the field and get some blue in our white buckets.


Each little girl had her own bucket and carried it with gusto as we followed directions to get to the un-picked blueberry bushes. We waited to be shown exactly where to start picking. After we were given our row of bushes, many of which were taller than my head (but well under six feet).

It was fun finding just the right plump almost-purple-they-were-so-blue berries and dropping them with a dull thud into the white buckets. Zoë was a champion picker, and was never far behind in how full her bucket was compared to Nana and her mom. Megan started eating as many as she got in her bucket and proclaimed that the "red" ones were sour, but tasted just as good.

Now, what about Miranda? She picked about 5 berries and dropped them in the bucket. She handed the bucket to her mom, and proceeded to pick out the berries and eat them. She then realized that dropping them in the bucket was not a way to be efficient, so she started picking the berries off the bush and popping them in her mouth. YUM! It made me doubly glad that these were organic berries!



She was quite full of blueberries by the time we were finished picking about 45 minutes later. Finished more because Zoë and Megan were restless than Nana and I felt like we had enough berries!


Before we left, we were joined by some good friends of ours that we've had fun playing with this summer- the Arick's. Tara is due only 10 days before I am, and she and I have had fun being pregnant together. Nana took a "belly shot" of us before we headed off to weigh our bellies, I mean berries!

Back at the barn, we loaded our bags of blueberries on the scale. Although the printout read about six pounds, I'm sure that with Miranda's and Megan's help (i.e. the ones that they ate), we had close to seven or eight pounds. At any rate, we were glad to be able to dine on blueberries for lunch and dinner that night!



And maybe have blueberry pie, or blueberry crepes, and blueberry pancakes, and blueberry. . .

Waiting for the Next One

I don't usually mind waiting, especially when I have a final result and final date set. It was really hard to wait when we were living in an apartment in Texas and we didn't know how long we'd be there, or where we were moving to next. That was agonizing! Living in limbo stinks.

It has been different (for me) with my due dates. I knew that my due date with Zoë was January 22, and that my doctor wouldn't let me go any longer than one week after that date. So I knew my daughter would arrive before the end of the month. With Megan, I had preterm labor, so I didn't even expect to reach my due date (which I didn't!). With Miranda, I was afraid I not only wouldn't reach my due date, but not even the scheduled c-section date, but I knew she'd arrive "on or before" November 15th (and she did make her c-section date).

This pregnancy has been harder because I would love to have her arrive as early as safely possible. Why? So her birthday is farther away from Megan's; so Nana can meet her 9th grandchild before she heads back to Utah and work; so my back can stop hurting; so I can start recovering from surgery more quickly; a myriad of other reasons.

At 2am the other morning, I was awakened out of a semi-sound sleep (does any 9-month-pregnant mother of 1+ sleep soundly?): a contraction. Strong enough to wake me up. I wondered why this one wakened me, and as I lay there for the next hour, I realized it was because it probably wasn't the first one I'd had. I started watching the clock, waiting, waiting for the next one. Ten minutes later, another contraction. Another ten minutes, another contraction.

I then thought about how often the contractions will peter out after an hour or so, and therefore, I tried to just go back to sleep. I woke up again at 4am, and they were still 10 minutes apart. I started thinking, "Ok, 10 minutes apart, and not very strong, doesn't mean much. I wish they'd just go away, or that they would get serious!"

At 6:45, when Travis woke up, I told him about waiting for the next one, and he started getting nervous/excited. Are we having a baby today? The doctor said he wouldn't stop labor at this point (I was 37 weeks and 3 days, so technically "full term"*). So, I called the on-call doc, and she said to go ahead and keep my regular appointment that morning and see what they found on exam.

DUH. I already knew they wouldn't find anything other than contractions (and a heart rate, I could feel the baby moving). I was in labor for two days with Zoë, contractions down to 3 minutes apart and only got to 1.5 cm. With Megan I was in labor for 18 hours, had my water break and I only got to 1 cm! I know that my contractions result in NO PROGRESS, hence the need for c-sections

Anyway, at the doctor appointment she decided to send me to the hospital. WHY? The contractions were 5-10 minutes apart (activity seemed to increase the contractions- bending, moving, walking). I just wanted to make sure that they weren't stressing the baby out.

I went home, grabbed my hospital bag (yes, I had it packed), and drove myself to the Child Birth Unit. And waited for the next one....

Once they got me hooked up, within the next 30 minutes I had about two-and-a-half contractions. The baby was moving fine. They sent me home. The nurse even said, "I'm not really sure why the doctor sent you over here". Great. Just what I wanted to hear. And, of course, in the back of my mind I'm wondering how much this little trip is going to cost... emotionally it's a disaster. I didn't want to go to the hospital, I didn't want to get my Mom's hopes up about me having the baby before she left. I didn't want to ruin Travis' experiments for the rest of the week because he felt like he couldn't start anything without knowing if he needed to drop things and come to the hospital.

The contractions continued for the rest of the day. Usually 10-15 minutes apart, but stopped about 10pm that night. I think I had contractions every 10 minutes (or so) for about 24 hours. Great, eh? And, yes, I could ignore a lot of them (they didn't get painful) but I was still waiting for the next one.

Now? Well, every day I wonder if I'll start up again, and if I do, what will I do? Do I go back to the hospital to have them tell me they don't know why I'm there? Or do I wait it out and wonder if my baby goes into stress from all the squeezing? Do I wait until my water breaks? Will I even have more regular contractions? Or will I plod along for the next 9 days and make it to my due date without any more excitement?

Yep, watching the hand on the clock tick around and around, just waiting for the next one, trying to distract my mind and my body from what might be going on, or might be coming. It wouldn't be so difficult to wait if I wasn't so READY for pregnancy to be DONE DONE DONE and for me to be able to hold this little girl in my arms instead of carrying her around in my belly.

Still, I can and will** wait, because I know the definite end, and the most probable place and time.

I can hardly wait to meet this little girl! But I will continue to wait for the next one...



*But, what doctors don't really like to tell you is that they hate delivering before 39 weeks and try to avoid it unless it is inevitable to deliver. There's so much risk with a baby even mildly early like an almost 38-weeker

**My medical background reinforces the fact that, although I'd love to have her arrive early, I'd much prefer my daughter to come as close to 39 weeks as well. Yes, I know fully that those last few days of incubation can lead to a huge difference in development and preparedness for living outside the womb. So, as much as I want her out, I'm perfectly glad that she's not coming too early, and will have a chance to grow and develop a little more. Besides, I will not drink castor oil again, and although intimacy with my husband is awesome, it doesn't help me much (see above reference to lack of dilation). Spicy food? that's considerable only because I like spicy things. But, I'm not going to pull all the stops to "get things rolling".

Independence

I know that being the third child makes you grow up faster in a lot of ways. You have bigger sisters to show you what's possible (and allowed?) and you also don't have as much undivided attention from a parent. It can be a hard lot in life. I wonder how Miranda will do once her baby sister comes, and how she'll adjust to all that change.

Still, there's something to be said for her independence. She has, since she was strong enough, gotten food out of the refrigerator. She'll grab cheese sticks (which she brings to me to open), a box of strawberries (she brought up to my room and then proceeded to eat), and even a gallon of milk (half full) and a glass for me to pour it in (this was during my drugged out nap after my root canal).

And yet, that independence can lead to a bit of a mess. Not that much of the above led to many messes (the milk didn't spill, the strawberries were fine until she proceeded to pick the leaves off in my bedroom, etc). Today, that changed.

I guess my offering of honey-drizzled cheerios wasn't enough for breakfast. While I was working (yes working!) on the computer (remember the scrapbook I'm trying to finish before baby #4 arrives?), Miranda opened the fridge (nothing new here), got out some yogurt, got out a spoon, climbed up into her chair, opened the yogurt (I'm still wondering how), and started to eat. Maybe she got some help from her sister(s), but I think she pretty much did this on her own. The amazing thing was that she was eating it in her chair at the table! The not-so-amazing thing, and the part that makes me wish she weren't quite so independent, was the mess she made. She does rather well feeding herself, but yogurt? Well, a picture's worth a thousand words...

I don't know if you can see, but it's all over her chest, legs, and a nice large blob on her left hand. Not to mention the floor, table, and chair. So sweet of her to offer me a bite!

Winking

We discovered, while on vacation, that Miranda, a 20-month-old, can WINK!
Yep, she's got some serious facial muscle control...